


Still Too Close To You I Feel

by GotTheSilver



Series: Wanderlust [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 08:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotTheSilver/pseuds/GotTheSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion piece to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/584691">Millions Of Miles Under My Heels</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Too Close To You I Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This Derek's story during the years Stiles was gone. It probably won't make sense without reading Millions Of Miles Under My Heels first, but you never know.
> 
> Title from I Am The Highway by Audioslave.

Derek knew Stiles would be leaving after Graduation. The rest of the pack had already told him their plans, Stiles hadn’t. The day Stiles tells everyone, Derek remains quiet, lets the others say what they need to say to him. Scott stays behind after everyone leaves and tells Derek not to try and keep Stiles in Beacon Hills.

(“He needs this Derek and if you ask him to stay, he will. He’ll lose everything that makes him Stiles if he stays. Don’t do it, please.”)

After Scott leaves, Derek sits in the dark for an hour before heading to his bookshelf and pulling down a book. He digs out the box from under his bed and carefully rifles through the items until he finds the talisman his mother had owned. She’d told him it was a connection, that it would keep an Alpha connected to whoever in the pack had it. Derek had never - he hadn’t really understood how it worked, he’d been too impatient, too preoccupied with his own pathetic life to listen to her. He hopes it will let Stiles keep a piece of Beacon Hills, a piece of the pack, with him.

Derek goes to see Deaton and gathers some supplies for Stiles, he wraps it all in newspaper before he heads to Stiles’ house. He stuffs the package under his jacket and climbs in the window. Stiles isn’t surprised to see him, which almost makes Derek laugh. He has no idea what to say to Stiles so he just takes off his jacket and drapes it around the package. As Derek kicks off his boots, he hears Stiles snort and turn back to his computer, Derek sighs and settles on the bed. He’s asleep within minutes.

He wakes up to Stiles’ mouth pressing against his cheek. Derek’s hand is gripping Stiles’ hip and he can’t bring himself to pull away immediately. Derek doesn’t say a word, doesn’t move, he lets himself have this moment. He waits until Stiles rolls over before he slips out of the bed, leaves the package on Stiles’ desk and climbs out of the window.

-

Scott tells Derek when Stiles’ flight is, and Derek tries to stay away, but he finds himself heading towards Stiles’ house. The drive to the airport is quiet, Stiles looks out the window as Derek drives and doesn’t say a word until Derek pulls into the parking lot. Derek’s grip is so tight, he worries he’s going to break the steering wheel until Stiles reaches out and touches his hand. Stiles starts to move and Derek can’t let him go without saying something. So -

(“Just come back. Come back.”)

Stiles nods and shoots him a smile before walking off. Derek sits in the Jeep and waits until Stiles’ flight takes off before driving away.

Sheriff Stilinski is leaning against the door when Derek pulls the Jeep into the driveway. Derek gets out of the Jeep and walks towards him. He holds out the keys and waits for the Sheriff to take them.

(“He get away okay?”)

Derek nods and makes to walk away when the Sheriff speaks again.

(“Derek, if you need anything,” he said. “You let me know.”)

Derek has no idea what to say to that. He stares at the Sheriff for a moment before he turns and walks home.

-

The day Derek gets a postcard from Stiles, he takes a walk to the old Hale house and sits on the remnants of the porch, tracing the words Stiles had written. He looks out at the forest and remembers hours spent running around as a kid with his family. The pack is stable now, and they deserve a home. The apartment Derek stays in isn’t enough, isn’t good for them.

He needs to rebuild.

-

Derek gets a number of a reliable contractor from Sheriff Stilinski and starts sketching some ideas out. He doesn’t want a replica of his childhood home, he wants something new, something that will become a home. Boyd helps him pull down what remains of the old house, Derek can’t - won’t - leave that to strangers.

The day Derek finishes pulling down the house, he gets a call from Stiles. Stiles is drunker than Derek has ever heard him, and he’s almost sobbing, unconnected words falling from his lips and Derek can barely put them together. Something bad happened and Derek’s blood throbs with the need to find Stiles, to protect him and make everything better. He just sits there and listens until Stiles hangs up.

(When John Stilinski asks if Derek has spoken to Stiles, Derek lies.)

-

Isaac, Erica and Scott all attend BHCC and, in a twist that Derek thinks Stiles will find hilarious, Boyd heads off for the Police Academy. Lydia goes to Harvard, and Jackson follows her to a smaller Boston college. Derek spends his days working over the plans for the new house with the contractors, they won’t get started until January and Derek wants to make it as perfect as it possibly can be.

There’s a fae problem over Hallowe’en, the resulting battle leaves Erica nursing a magically broken arm and Boyd having to see Deaton for a gash in his leg that won’t heal. Derek catches Isaac looking through websites for bedroom ideas and a warmth spreads through his chest, the sense of _pack_ and _home_ making themselves known.

He holds a small Thanksgiving dinner at the apartment for himself and Isaac. Boyd and Erica are with their families, and the McCalls invite John to eat with them. It’s peaceful, Isaac shows Derek how he and his brother used to make mash and Derek tries to make mac and cheese like his dad used to. The pack come over in the evening for a movie and leftovers. It’s cramped, but it’s full of laughter and comfort.

-

The week that the contractors start the foundation of the new house, gifts start arriving from Stiles. Scott gets a selection of goofy tourist bears that make him laugh, Isaac gets handmade copper wire boxes and a note -

(“To keep new memories in.”)

For Boyd, Stiles has sent a small painting of a busy market scene that Derek guesses is one of the places he’s been to. Erica gets a large hand woven shawl in so many colours Derek can’t even begin to name them.

Derek can’t hold back a laugh when he opens what Stiles sent him, a photo of Stiles grinning wildly on the back of a camel. He flips it over and -

(“We don’t get these in Beacon Hills, right?”)

When he goes out to buy a new table for the apartment, he picks up a frame for the photo.

-

Derek’s control becomes frail in the days leading up to the anniversary of the fire. He snaps at his pack, lashes out, slashes Isaac’s chest when he comes too close. They back away after that. He knows he’s handling it wrong - knows that there are healthier ways to do it, but he can’t find those ways without Stiles.

The nightmares come, Derek wakes up to shredded blankets and the remains of a mattress. He shifts and runs for as long as his body can take it, empty, pained howls ringing out in the preserve.

-

John Stilinski comes by the house the day Derek gets a new postcard from Stiles. They stand at the edge of the grounds in silence, watching the builders work. It’s starting to take shape now, Derek can visualise the large kitchen, the family room, the study all on the first floor. With each visit to the site, Derek can feel the hold the Hales have on the land grow stronger.

(“Have you heard from him?”)

(“Postcards - vampires in China.”)

John rubs a hand over his face and sighs. Derek knows the feeling, if there was a way to guarantee Stiles’ safety on his travels, he would take it. He trusts Stiles, knows he can take care of himself, but he worries. He can’t help but worry.

(“He okay?”)

(“He’s Stiles.”)

With that, John laughs and claps Derek on the shoulder.

-

Jackson and Lydia don’t come back for the summer. Derek isn’t surprised, Jackson never felt at home with the pack and Lydia - Lydia was always meant for something else. It’s not long before Derek gets a call from the main Alpha in Boston requesting a meeting. He agrees, doesn’t want this to be hard, doesn’t want to use violence to keep Jackson with them. To force a beta to stay with him - that’s not that type of Alpha Derek wants to be.

They meet in neutral ground, the Alpha brings Jackson and Lydia with her, Derek brings Scott and Boyd. It goes smoothly, and Derek wishes nothing but happiness for them both. He knows how precious finding your place in the world is.

It takes time for the pack to adjust, not as much as Derek thought it would, but time nonetheless. Strangely, Scott is the one who finds it hardest. They try and help, but the person who could help the most isn’t around.

-

John invites the pack to dinner. Derek accepts on behalf of them all and offers to cook when John suggests ordering pizza. They all gather at the Stilinski house and Derek sets the pack to work in the kitchen, Boyd bags off saying he baked cookies for dessert. It’s easy, in a way Derek’s not sure it should be without Stiles. They talk about him, it’s been a year since he left and John got a call today.

(“He said he’s not ready to come home yet,” he says. “I’m not surprised.”)

Derek isn’t worried, Stiles promised him he’d be back. He’ll keep that promise.

-

The last postcard Derek gets from Stiles has bright red buses on the front and Derek adds it to the collection on the fridge. Erica gets an email that has her squeaking at her iPhone and flailing around.

Three days later Stiles emails Derek with flight times.

(“Tell no one.”)

-

Derek could count the number of times he’s truly been nervous on one hand. Standing at the arrivals desk waiting for Stiles is up there. He takes Stiles’ bag and slings it over his shoulder, grins at the way Stiles rolls his eyes. Stiles looks good, tanned and healthy. Derek wonders if there are new scars, if the time away has left new marks on Stiles’ body. It’s quiet until they get into the car and Derek knows the answer to the question but he has to ask -

(“You’re not staying, are you?”)

(“No. But I’ll come back.”)

Derek will take that answer for as long as Stiles is willing to give it.

-

John grips Stiles so tightly Derek starts to worry about Stiles’ ribs. He puts Stiles’ bag down and turns to leave, only stopping when John calls out his name.

(“Dinner, tonight. 7pm.”)

Derek nods and waves a hand at them as they head indoors.

-

No one tells Stiles that the house is being redone, and Derek doesn’t take Stiles to see it. It’s not done yet, and he wants to wait until it’s finished, until it’s a home. They hang out at the apartment and at the Stilinski’s house. One night Stiles crashes out on Derek’s sofa after going over his NYU material. Derek covers him with a blanket and sits in the armchair, watching Stiles sleep.

He wakes up a little before dawn with a slight crick in his neck with Stiles looking at him.

(“Still a creeper, then?”)

(“Shut up, Stiles.”)

Stiles laughs, his eyes gleeful, as Derek gets up to make coffee.

-

After Stiles leaves for college, Derek throws himself into getting the house finished. It’s almost built, the last few finishing touches being done by the builders. The pack almost vibrates with excitement whenever paint samples are mentioned, Boyd and Erica attempt to decide if they will share a room and Isaac wants to know what size television he can have in his room.

Stiles comes back for Christmas and New Year, but not for summer. The first summer he spends in Chicago and - it’s not like Jackson and Lydia - Stiles will come home.

-

Boyd joins BHPD, Erica gets a job at a bar, Scott’s at Deaton’s full time and Isaac starts an online Graduate degree in Civil Engineering. Derek gets a request from an Alpha in Manhattan to break bread. It’s not something he can turn down, the Alpha is old, his territory established, and Derek being asked to meet reflects how stable the new Hale pack has become.

He doesn’t call Stiles, he just turns up at his building. The look on Stiles’ face is worth the punch that follows.

-

It’s easy to slip into a routine with Stiles. When he’s in classes, Derek meets with Alex and his pack, walks around familiar places and notes the changes in the few years he’s been away from the city. He shares Stiles’ bed, gets almost too used to waking up with Stiles’ limbs wrapped around him, his own managing to seek out Stiles’ skin. If nothing else, it makes Derek realise that he still wants to share his home with Stiles. That he’ll wait for as long as Stiles needs to run.

When he gets back to Beacon Hills, he orders a giant box of pop tarts to be sent to Stiles to make up for the ones he stole.

-

Painting the house takes a long time, they have to stop every few hours just to get away from the smell. They don’t finish until summer comes around again. Stiles spends that summer in different places. Derek gets a postcard from Nashville, Scott gets one from Boston and John gets one from Vancouver.

Derek concentrates on getting the house finished.

-

Isaac comes back to the apartment one day smelling of a different wolf, Derek raises an eyebrow and Isaac tells him about the girl he’s met. She was bitten, her Alpha was killed by hunters and she wants a new pack. Isaac likes her, Derek can tell, and he agrees to meet her. She - Rayna - is quiet, but confident. She would be good for Isaac. Derek allows her to spend time with the pack, asks her questions. Isaac grows into a better version of himself when Rayna is around.

She accepts Derek as her Alpha a month after they first meet.

-

The house is ready for them to move in. Derek stands outside the door and takes a deep breath before he opens it for the first time. This is it. Somehow he’s managed to do this, create a new home, a new pack. It’s wrong that Stiles isn’t with them for this.

-

John comes to tell Derek he’s driving to New York to get Stiles, and that they’ll be driving back. Derek’s not sure if it’s an invitation or not, but he doesn’t want to join them. He wants Stiles to choose to come back to him. Derek doesn’t know if that makes him selfish or not.

-

He hears the rumble of the Jeep before he sees it. Derek puts his book down and goes to stand on the porch, wanting to see Stiles’ reaction to the house. When Stiles almost crashes the Jeep, Derek hides a smile. He doesn’t take his eyes off Stiles as Stiles approaches the house. It takes Stiles laying a hand on Derek’s arm for Derek to react, he pulls Stiles against him and -

(“You’re taller,” he says. “Taller than me, now”)

Stiles mumbles something against the side of Derek’s head and it’s strange, so strange that Stiles has changed like this without Derek knowing.

-

They lay on Derek’s bed for hours, Stiles telling him all the stories he’d never told Derek before. The vampires in China, riding a camel in Egypt, he skips over Ecuador with a hollow look in his eyes and Derek rests a hand on Stiles’ leg, squeezes gently. They eat pizza and Derek tells Stiles about Jackson & Lydia leaving, about Rayna joining, about how settled the pack is now. When the pizza is finished, they lay there in silence for a while.

Derek sits up, rests against the headboard and Stiles follows, sits facing Derek, crossing his legs. Stiles looks at Derek expectantly and Derek asks -

(“Are you back?”)

His breath catches when Stiles leans forward and kisses him, his hands on Derek’s face. It’s real and solid, and everything Derek wanted. When Stiles pulls back, he strokes a hand across Derek’s cheek and nods, his eyes wide.

(“I’m back. I’ve come back.”)

Derek’s blood hums with contentment and he tugs Stiles forward again, laughs when Stiles loses his balance and falls on top of Derek. He runs a hand through Stiles’ hair, plays with the ends and lets the warmth flow through him when Stiles rests his head against Derek’s chest, just above his heart.


End file.
